When you have a baby with medical conditions you need to be open minded about feeding. I honestly did not know what to expect with Romeo, would he be put straight into NICU when he was born? Would he need a feeding tube? Would he tire to much from feeding from the boob?

Ultimately I wanted to breast feed after all breast is best! When Romeo was born the midwife tried helping me to get him to latch but he couldn’t his mouth was just too small. I hand pumped and used little syringes to get the milk in his mouth the first couple of times. As I spent 3 days on the ward after birth I had midwifes on hand to help me with breastfeeding and no one could seem to crack it, he just couldn’t latch on so I had to use the little bottles of Aptamil and topping up with syringes of breastmilk on the side. This was hard though my breasts weren’t producing enough milk, there was one night I had just managed to hand pump a couple of mls into a pot, Jimmy sucked it up in the syringe and then accidentally squirted it all over me. I needed to get out of hospital and start expressing properly this was hopeless.

Once out of hospital I finally got a pump but finding the time to sit and express as well as bottle feeding, changing and sleeping was hard. Romeo was struggling with the bottles as well, we have tried most of the bottles and teats out there and the first week or so it was taking over an hour to get him to take a bottle. I kept trying him on the boob but he just couldn’t do it, this would frustrate him and me.

Now I know people think they are trying to help you by giving advice about breast feeding, you should try this and try that but the truth is when you have been trying and trying there is nothing worst than having someone patronize you by saying try this. The day that my milk dried up I cried, I felt like a failure. I am a woman, I have given birth to a baby, I have produced milk to feed my baby but I have failed and now my milk has gone.

“Have you given up on trying to breastfeed now?” – honestly this is the worst thing you can say to someone who’s baby wont latch. It’s not that I have given up, it just doesn’t work for us and that’s okay. I am no less of a mum or a woman because I haven’t breastfed; the most important thing is that my baby is feeding, yes bottle & formula wasn’t my first choice but he is getting chunky and putting on weight and that is all that really matters.